Hope & Question

name sake

I'm not sure I've ever really said much concerning the name I gave to this blogomine. The idea of single intelligence started out as a rant, then proceeded to an article and it has pretty much fizzled into nothing at the moment. I've only let one or two people read what I've written, but today I'm feeling a bit more gutsy. Here's about half of what I got started. It's been a little while since I wrote this, but I think I still feel mostly the same.

bitter. alone. Free. Independent. All words to describe the plight, the condition of the single person. There are groups, clubs, and grocery stores all intent on bringing people together in hopes of making matches made in heaven. What’s with that phrase anyway?
Perhaps several different pictures pop up in your mind when the word ‘single’ is mentioned. I’m not talking about a hamburger from Wendy’s or a runner making it to first base.

the whole idea that ‘all we need is God’ I heard a song the other day that said something to the effect that God is all I need, which theologically speaking may be closer to correct than not. Realistically speaking, I really think we were made for relationship…relationship with God, relationship with others, relationship with one other. I think that the whole idea of a single adult is sort of tragic in the fact that some singles are intent upon being independent, self-sufficient…that’s not what life is about. Life is about living in community with one another, with a group of people. Marriage just happens to be sort of a built-in community. But, being single does not, really should not, hinder the human necessity of community.
I’ve learned it the hard way, am still learning to need people. To realize that being dependent on others is healthy. It’s almost impossible to live on one’s own. I know there are people out there who would LOVE the idea of living all alone for the rest of their lives. That just doesn’t sound fun to me.
From the beginning, there have been communities of people. We, as single people, need to realize that it’s not about a conglomeration even of single people gathering to bask or dwell or wallow in our singleness, instead it is about forming a healthy community of people who are intent on bettering the world around them. That does not exclude anyone by gender, marital status or age.

The reason I bring this up now is that I was checking my e-mail just a moment ago and got sidetracked by one of the stories to the side...it was about how to answer people who ask all the time about marital status. I rather appreciated some of what this woman had to say (please note...this in no way constitutes lack of desire to be married on my part, just what is possible for me in the meantime). My thoughts in green.

• look at some of our cool single role models:
  Catwoman: Single.
  Buddha: Single.
  The Lone Ranger: Single.

Actually, virtually all superhero types are single: Superman, Wonder Woman, Dudley Do- Right. And then there’s The Ultimate Superhero: God—also single (kind of seems a little over the top and theologically interesting if not questionable, but I had to leave it in since she included it).

• It's easy to become married. Millions of people do it every year. If you want to pressure me to become something, hey, why not pick something a little more challenging—like an astrophysicist.

• True love is rare. That's why it's called "love" and not "really like" or "settling." And why we don't say: "I’m settling for you, honey" over candlelit dinners. True love is worth waiting for…and that’s what I’m doing.

Karen Salmansohn is a life coach and the best-selling author of 27 books. Visit her at www.notsalmon.com. Adapted from Even God Is Single: So Stop Giving Me A Hard Time, copyright 2000 by Karen Salmansohn. Used by permission of Workman Publishing Co., Inc., New York. All rights reserved.

posted by Loren @ 9:41 AM