Hope & Question

new year

I am a little shocked, a little ashamed that it's been two months since my last posting. So I am here to write more, by the encouragement of a dear friend (thanks Nikki). I could write about the snow falling and the temperature outside (1 degree) interpreted ridiculously cold, but what most seem to think winter should be.

But there are more pressing matters that pervade my mind at the moment.

Retrospection: one of my least favorite words and activities. But, nonetheless, I am forced to do so at the beginning of a new year (consequently I have decided to treat each first day of each month like a 'new year'...we'll see how well that goes!). This past year seems to be riddled with selfish sadness and attempts at being and becoming the woman (truly more than a kid and not refined enough to be a lady) God means for me to be. I have grown in many ways, but been given the challenge of reconciling and trudging through the hard parts of several relationships (eg. Dad and Andrea just to name two). They have been resolved but are still not where I would like them to be, but it seems they never will be. It has been a year of starting over, of some success, of an end and a beginning. But with all of that, I feel like at this point in time I am far from who I should be, not letting the Redeemer come through and not focusing on hope and truth and people around me.

Repent: mostly of judging, of being cynical and critical in the wrong way, of focusing on me and not putting others first (of this my sister so fabulously reminded me the other day). I repent more for what I haven't done in the way of feeding the hungry (literally and figuratively), of showing love to those not so lovely, of casting all of my cares on Him who cares for me and of seeking Him first and trusting Him with what He has for me.

Resolve: to spend an hour a week in solitude, to continue to initiate in relationships even when it hurts; to be honest in a loving way to those with whom it's hard for me to be; to love, really love, those around me; to meet people who need to know Love and live that with them; to treat my temple as I should; to hope...

Happy New Year

posted by Loren @ 9:53 AM