Tuesday, August 11, 2009

the latest

I had to read some scripture so I would be able to sleep last night and the last was Proverbs 10 and one of the verses is 'Hatred stirs up dissension but love covers over all wrongs.'

As I've been meditating on that today, I'm clarifying between erasing wrongs and covering over. And praying that I would have love for those who live in the place that I do and for those connected to those who live in the place I do.

I've been asking God to speak to me about what I'm supposed to be gettng out of this circumstance and who I'm supposed to be in it all.

The justice thing is rearing its head (I'm in no way apologetic for holding my ground on keeping rules that are agreed upon by all). I think perhaps some of it is learning to be ok/comfortable/whatever with 'being the bad guy' when standing up for what I believe is right (which sounds really trite and third-gradish and I don't know why I am learning this (perhaps again) now, but am trying to live fully in it).

I think grace is in there somewhere, as well, though in learning to love and to cover, while still maintaining truth.

Rilke is one of my heroes. One of my favorite quotes of his is "I would like to beg you dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."