Thursday, September 29, 2005

kind of amazing

Most of the time, when I get in the car to go somewhere (anywhere, really) I think to myself, I wish I could just keep driving and driving until I get some place cool (lately, the Grand Canyon has come to mind). Earlier today, I got in the car to go get some sweet tea (I just had a hankerin') and as usual, the thought came...I could just drive...and then the thought was interrupted by another thought: I'm good right where I am today. I have responsibilities and places to go and be in which I want to participate. It's been a while since I've felt/thought this way about where I am. Praise God!


I was told last night by the director of Treasure House that she wants me to stay on as long as I want. I don't know what I think about this yet. I'd get free room and board, and continue the schedule of 2 nights/every other weekend on call. But it's only been three days and I haven't been in authority yet, so I'm not sure how it's all going to look and what I'm going to think of it in three weeks. I didn't give her an answer; I just told her I'd pray about it.
Keeping in mind the whole thing about only being there three days so far and not really being in authority with the women, yet, I took what I overheard Brandi (one of the women) tell Joy (the director) last night. She told her that she loved me, that I fit in, that she loved my sense of humor and that she wanted me to stay for good. Quite encouraging, but I'm sure it won't be the same story after I have to give her a demerit...

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

not really listening

i'm listening to one of the best radio stations ever. it's what i do when i have to work in the library (something for which I don't think I was made). i thought the lyrics to a song were 'don't throw out the coffin,' when indeed, they are 'don't go back to broadway.'

i promise i haven't been smoking anything...

the days to come

I've spent two nights at the Treasure House (that's the transitional home I moved into to help out). I'm already amazed. I know it's only been two nights and I know there will be some hard times to come in the next month, or so, but already I am looking forward to being in relationship with these women. Last night, I heard basically the whole life story of Melissa, was told by Brandy that I needed to stay for good (one month isn't enough) and that she likes me (the last two girls who interned over the summer, she knew she didn't like them by day two) and was asked by Dori why I wanted to live with them. I got to pray over Gracie (4 month old, one of four of Melissa's children, the only one she has custody of) that God would use her and that she would make wise choices despite what kind of environment she ends up growing up in, that she would recognize and live for Jesus as Saviour and Lord. I've gotten invited to go dress shopping, get my nails done, and hang out on 16th Street Mall with them. It's been two days! I learned last night that dinner time includes a question of the day (my coworkers from Mill Valley would smile that I get to continue this) as well as a high and a low of the day. Two of the women didn't have lows yesterday. How humbling and challenging and encouraging all at the same time!
So I don't know how long I'll be there. I'm open to what God is up to in this situation. My prayer is that I would be all there for the time I'm there and would learn from them and allow God to use me in their lives.

And I can't believe my sister is getting married in a month and a week!

And my friend Will included a reference to the LSU/Tennessee game and I just need to say that I rather enjoyed watching UT come from behind and beat LSU. This weekend should be pretty stuinkin' fun for SEC football: Florida/Bama and then Auburn/USC. I love Fall...

I know those last two comments were rather random, but at least I have my priorities straight, huh?

Thursday, September 22, 2005

something new...just for a while

Starting Monday I'll be a live-in assistant at a transitional home for women in downtown Denver. I'll be building relationships with the three women living in the house, keeping them accountable, sharing meals. Pretty exciting. That's the latest.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

worship and decision

It's been a while since I've either a) had anything to say or b) had the time to blog what I have to say or c) felt like taking the time to blog what I have to say. I'm biting the bullet (wish I knew the derivation of that phrase) and sharing some today. It may be a little long and a little disconnected just because it has been a little while since I've expressed myself in this way.

Last weekend, I was given the opportunity to go to a Dave Matthews Band concert. It was pretty fun. That man is stinkin' talented. I got a little bummed, however, when I looked around and noticed that people were actually worshipping: hands lifted high, eyes closed, etc. Of course, being one unable to just enjoy something without reading into the deeper happenings and reflecting on humanity in general, I realized how sad it was that a concert was something they believed in, got some kind of significance, connection, and some purpose to this life. This was magnified as the crowd (including me) chimed in with Dave singing, "eat, drink, and be merry; for tomorrow we die." There's more to it than that for those who live in the truth of Christ. I thought about it a while and shared the thought with one of the guys I was with...he agreed and said there are three things Coloradoans participate in worship: a concert at Red Rocks (where we were), climbing a 14er (which I attempted a couple of months ago) and a Bronco's game (still on the list of things to do). Thinking about each of these activities, however, does not fill me with worship (well, experiencing the majesty I acknowledge as God's creation while hiking is worshipful, but in a different way, I think than the average CO person would) and makes me wonder just how empty life may seem for people all around me moment by moment. Interestingly, the lyrics to the song playing right now include, 'there's got to be more to life than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me'...'there must be more to life.' And, indeed, there is. May I take the time to be aware of those who are seeking that 'more' and be prepared to live and give the answer to the hope I have.

Lately, God's been having to remind me of things that I thought I knew, but had neglected to live out in a purposeful and positive manner. As is usually the case, the day I read this by Oswald Chambers, God used it to bring me back to where He has me and why He has me here.

Missionary Weapons
If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet —John 13:14
Ministering in Everyday Opportunities.

Ministering in everyday opportunities that surround us does not mean that we select our own surroundings— it means being God’s very special choice to be available for use in any of the seemingly random surroundings which He has engineered for us. The very character we exhibit in our present surroundings is an indication of what we will be like in other surroundings.
The things Jesus did were the most menial of everyday tasks, and this is an indication that it takes all of God’s power in me to accomplish even the most common tasks in His way. Can I use a towel as He did? Towels, dishes, sandals, and all the other ordinary things in our lives reveal what we are made of more quickly than anything else. It takes God Almighty Incarnate in us to do the most menial duty as it ought to be done.
Jesus said, "I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you" (13:15). Notice the kind of people that God brings around you, and you will be humiliated once you realize that this is actually His way of revealing to you the kind of person you have been to Him. Now He says we should exhibit to those around us exactly what He has exhibited to us.
Do you find yourself responding by saying, "Oh, I will do all that once I’m out on the mission field"? Talking in this way is like trying to produce the weapons of war while in the trenches of the battlefield--you will be killed while trying to do it.
We have to go the "second mile" with God (see
Matthew 5:41 ). Yet some of us become worn out in the first ten steps. Then we say, "Well, I’ll just wait until I get closer to the next big crisis in my life." But if we do not steadily minister in everyday opportunities, we will do nothing when the crisis comes.

In other news, I've decided to apply to the PhD program in Communication (either critical cultural studies or interpersonal studies) at CU Boulder. I've signed up to take th GRE mid-October and will apply by the first of the year. After much prayer and a couple of other doors that were either never opened or seemingly shut, I think this is the direction I need to pursue. I'm not sure that I'll get in, but I at least have to try. I'll let you know what I find out. It's scary and exciting all the same time.

There are a couple of things unresolved in my life at this time, but again, I serve a living God who cares for me and sings over me. I have to trust that He knows what He's doing and I choose to, as best I know how, live out the scripture 'obedience is better than sacrifice.'